Q: Why did the new teacher give Smart Alec and A-plus?
A: Because he made a WISE-crack!

Kurt: I spent eight hours over my new spelling book last night.
Teacher: It's wonderful that you spent so much time studying!
Kurt: Who said anything about studying? My spelling book was under my bed when I went to sleep!

Principal: So tell me, Mr Wartman. Is that little Andrew Anderson as hopeless as he was last year?
Teacher: Well, I don't like to say he's hopeless. But he did have to cheat to get an F on a test today.

Principal: I've been watching you to day, Mr. Wartman. It was wonderful how you managed to stay on your toes for the entire first day of school!
Teacher: I had no choice. My students put thumbtacks on my chair!

Teacher: How do you spell cat, Angela?
Angela: C-A-I -
Teacher: Stop right there. Cat doesn't have and I!
Angela: So how does it see to catch a mouse?

Teacher: Melody, spell mouse.
Melody: M-O-U-S.
Teacher: But what's at the end of it?
Melody: A tail.

Q: Why did the students throw eggs at the new drama teacher?
A: Because eggs go so well with ham!

Q: How are tough teachers like umpires?
A: They both penalize you for errors!

Q: What can you pay your new teacher even if you're totally broke?
A: Attention!

Q: What kind of teachers do you find at the South Pole?
A: Cold Ones.

Q: How does the new music teacher brush his teeth?
A: With a tuba toothpaste!

Q: How did the new music teacher get locked out of his classroom?
A: His keys were inside the piano!