No, but they gave one to me anyway. - L.A. Lakers rookie Elden Campbell when asked if he earned a degree at Clemson University

Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls.

A true Bobby Knight story recalled as best as can be remembered from the "Morning Briefing" section of the L.A. Times: In the '80 Olympics, the U.S. basketball team, coached by Bobby Knight, played and beat the Chinese team handily. When asked about the win, Bobby said, "It was alot of fun playing the Chinese, but an hour later, we wanted to play them again."

I once read a magazine bio of a down-and-out basketball star who was so desperately addicted that he took to crime. Let's call him "Joe" for dramatic effect. His first mistake was to rob a convenience store in his own neighborhood. The owner of the store instantly recognized the six-foot-plus basketball star neighbor despite his pathetic attempt to wear a mask. When the owner said, "Joe, don't do this, okay?" To which the player/robber replied, "Naw, it ain't me, man. It ain't me."