A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, "Little boy, what ARE you doing?"
The boy replied, "I am making Ross Perot, Mister."
Now thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making Ross Perot?
Why not make, er, Bill Clinton?"
The boy answered, "Oh no Mister, I can't make Bill Clinton."
"But why not?" asked the man.
The boy replied "Well, Mister, there isn't enough bullshit here to make Bill Clinton."
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Several politicians had a meeting with the Wizard of Oz...
First, Newt Gingrich went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart".
So the Wiz said,"So be it".
Second was Al Gore. He said to the Wiz, "People think I'm unintelligent and have no common sense what so ever...I wish to have a Brain".
The Wiz said, "So be it".
Third was Bob Dole. "People say I have no confidence and I lack conviction... ..I wish to have some Courage".
And the Wiz said, "So be it".
And then Bill Clinton approached the Wizard.
The Wizard looked at him, and said, "Well, what do you want?"
To which Clinton replied, "I'm here for Dorothy!"
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A little boy wanted $100 very badly, so he prayed every night for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided he would just write the Lord a letter and ask him directly for the $100.
When the post office received the letter addressed to "GOD, U.S.A.," they decided to forward it to President Clinton. The President was so touched and impressed with the boy's nerve that he showed it to Hillary. She said, "This could be good P.R., Bill. Go ahead and send the kid some money." The President told his secretary to send the boy $5.00. He thought this would seem like a lot of money to the little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat right down to write a thank you letter to God. It read as follows:
Dear God,
Thank you for sending me the money I rquested. However, I see you send the money through Washington, D.C. and, as usual, that bastard Clinton took 95% of it.
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A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced,
"My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse." The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I actually work for the Clinton Administration. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"
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