The definition of "waste": a busload of economists plunging over a precipice with three of the seats unoccupied.

A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks: will this cure my illness? Answer of the doctor: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.

An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.

"I'm thinking of leaving my husband," complained the economist's wife.

"All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be."

Tariff -- A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

Economy -- Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

"I'm a walking economy," a man was overheard to say.
"My hairline's in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they're putting me in a deep depression."

Q: Why is advice so cheap?
A: Because supply always exceeds demand.