Q: How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

Q: How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ---- You should have hit "n"!

Q: How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: 51. One to change the bulb, and fifty to sing about the bulb being changed.
A2: 10. One to change the bulb and nine to make t-shirts about it.

Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
A2: Five: One to hold the bulb, and four to guzzle beer until the room spins.

Q: How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?
A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile...

Q: How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; assholes never see the light anyway.

Q: How many Necrophiliacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A1: None. Necrophiliacs prefer dead bulbs.
A2: Only one. Oh, excuse me, could you please test the socket with your finger while I go get a new bulb?

Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: About one third less than for a regular bulb.