Q: Why is food better than a man?
A: You don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Q: What's a man's idea of helping to make the bed?
A: He gets out..

Q: Why are men and parking spots similar?
A: The good ones are already taken and the ones left are handicapped.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: ONE! men will screw anything.

Q: What do toilet seats, anniversaries and a clitoris have in common?
A: Men miss them all.

Q: How do you keep a man interested after marriage?
A: Wear perfume that smells like beer.

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: She starts the sentance with "A man once told me..."

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: That's not the point, what's she doing out of the kitchen?

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured outwomen?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know it has never happened.

Q: Why are there only snowmen and no snowomen?
A: Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow all Winter.

Q: Why don't men get Mad Cow disease?
A: Because men are pigs.

Q: Why are guys like lawn mowers?
A: They emit foul odors, are hard to get started, and do not last for long.

Q: Why are men like laxatives?
A: They irritate the shit out of you.

Q: Why did God create man?
A: Because vibrators don't mow lawns.

Q: What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
A: No mind-No business.

Q: Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Q: Why are men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A: Because they're all pigs.

Q: What is the main difference between men and boys?
A: Men's toys cost more money.