Q: Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space?
A: Because there is no atmosphere!

Q: What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
A: Cold Trafford!

Q: How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
A: Somebody took a corner!

Q: Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?
A: Paul gas coin!

Q: What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?
A: Ince pies!

Q: What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks!

Q: Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
A: All of them, a crossbar can't jump!

Q: Why are football players never asked for dinner?
A: Because they're always dribbling!

Q: Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
A: Because he liked sole music