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Husband and Wife Jokes

Voodoo Wife

    There was this guy. He often went away on trips, far from home, Long trips. While this man was away on his trips, his wife would get very very dissatisfied. Thus, she cheated on him, but when he came back, she felt guilty, so she always told him. Well, after a while, the man got very frustrated with his wife's adultry, so he went to an adult toy shop. He looked around, but saw nothing special.

    The man knew he needed something special, so he decided to tell the salesclerk. "I need something really amazing for my wife. All I see here are normal toys."

    "Well, there is the voodoo dick, but I don't want to sell you THAT." replied the clerk.

    "Let me see it anyway!" Answered the man.

    The salesclerk took him into a room and pulled out a box. He opened the box, and inside was something that looked like a normal toy.

    "That's not special!" cried the man.

    "Ah, but look. Voodoo dick, THE DOOR." The dick in the box got up and began to hump the door.

    "I'll take that, but how do you get it to stop?"

    The salesclerk sold him the voodoo dick, then, said simply "Voodoo dick? The box."

    So the man took voodoo dick back home to his wife and showed her how to get it to hump something. Then, he left for a trip.

    The wife waited and waited and waited, but she couldn't stand her urges. She took out the voodoo dick and said "voodoo dick? My-" well, we know what she said. So, it was the best she had ever known, and she kept at it for about 3 hours. Then, she wanted it out. She pulled and pulled, but in vain, for her husband had forgotten to tell her about the little box trick. Finally, she decided to go to the hospital to get it out. She drove kind of wacky, well, because there was something in her. Finally, a police man pulled her over for her driving.

    "But..." She told the police man of the voodoo dick, to get out of the ticket.

    He laughed at her foolish story. "Voodoo dick my ass!" he cried.

    - Submitted by Sipa.


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