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Jokes.Net Professional Jokes:
Lawyers Jokes

You Know You Need a Lawyer When...

    - When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

    - During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

    - He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

    - He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

    - During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

    - He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."

    - Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

    - He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

    - He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

    - Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

    - Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

    - He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

    - He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said..."

    - He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.

    - Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

    - Submitted by Jokes4U.


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